Author: Nicole Williams
Release date: April 7, 2017
Buy: Amazon US ~ Amazon UK
I received this book from Ardent Prose in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
When he left for a twelve-month deployment, she knew it would feel like forever before they saw each other again. She didn’t realize how right she was.
When Lance Corporal Brecken Connolly gets taken as a POW, Camryn hopes for the best but steels herself for the worst. In the end, steel was what she needed to survive when he didn’t. She moves on the only way she knows how—gilding herself in more steel.
Years go by.
She builds a new life.
She leaves the old one behind.
Until one day, she sees the face of a ghost on the news. Brecken seems to have risen from the dead, but she knows she can’t perform the same miracle for herself. While Brecken was held in a torture camp for the past five years, she’s been trapped in her own kind of prison. One she can’t be freed from.
The man she mourned comes back to join the living, but the girl he wanted to spend his life with isn’t the same woman he comes back for. Brecken isn’t the same person either. The past five years have changed them both. While he’s determined to put the pieces back together, she’s resolved to let hers rot where they shattered.
Broken or not, Brecken wants her back. He’ll do anything to achieve that. Even if it means going against the warden of Camryn’s personal prison—her husband.
Since I’ve read the blurb of Tortured I’ve been a bit scared to start this story. I’ve read other books by Nicole Williams, and I know what her work can do to my poor feelings. Tortured tells the heartbreaking story of Camryn and Brecken, and I was right to be scared for their book. However, I love it at the same time.
“Just come back to me,” I whispered to no one. “Just come back.”
Camryn is a tortured young woman. Growing up with her over-strict dad has been hard, but when her boyfriend Brecken is taken as a prisoner of war in the Middle East, her life takes a turn for the worse. After his brutal execution, Camryn has to make the hardest decision and she thinks she made the right one. Her marriage to Crew, a friend of Brecken, is far from happy. He’s very abusive, but Camryn feels she can’t escape, that she has to stay. When she hears the news Brecken isn’t dead, and that he is coming home, she’s shocked and confused. She still loves Brecken, but she’s a married woman now and doesn’t know what to do.
“I felt the heaviness of the past, the guilt of my mistakes, slip away. His arms didn’t feel the same as they formed around me, but the feeling that came with them felt exactly the same. Home. Peace. Safety. Love.”
Camryn and Brecken were young, but they were very much in love and planning for their future. With Camryn’s dad being so strict their relation is a bit of a secret, their good friends however knew what’s going on between them. Camryn was very sad Brecken had to leave for a year, but she knew that when he was back, all would be better. Brecken’s capture and alleged execution only a short time into his deployment were devastating, and changed her life. Seeing Brecken after six years is hard; he’s a changed man surrounded by media, but underneath the scars there’s still the young man she loved – and still loves. The thought of Camryn is what Brecken kept alive during his ordeal, and he’s now in for the fight of his life to free her from her nightmare, to give them both the life they deserve.
My heart broke for both Brecken and Camryn. What they went through was horrible; Brecken as a prisoner of war and Camryn in her very abusive marriage. The years of captivity have left their marks on Brecken, but the good in him isn’t broken. Yes, he has been through hell, but he’s still the kind man that loves Camryn. I struggled a bit with Camryn’s mindset regarding her marriage, with her wanting to stay with Crew. But I’m a woman in a healthy, loving marriage. Camryn is so damaged by her abusive relationship that she’s in survival mode, has a different way of thinking. I was so happy when she finally stood up against her husband. I love Brecken and Camryn together, after all that happened to them they deserve everything and more.
“I saw the way he was looking at me. There was love, and there was what we had. It was the kind of feeling that couldn’t be substituted or faked. It was the kind that spanned time and distance.”
Although I was afraid to start Tortured, I love this book! I give the story of Camryn and Brecken 5 stars.
“It’s been six years. Everything’s changed. I have. You have.” My eyes lifted. “Why? Why are you trying to win me back?”
He exhaled, his lips parting. “I’m going to win you back.”
When his hand slid around the bend of my waist, winding behind my back, I jerked. His touch was different tonight, hungry, determined. My head clouded, blocking out reason or letting it surface to the top, one or the other.
“I married him,” I whispered even as my hand found his chest.
“But you belong to me.”
My eyes closed as he bowed me against him. I wasn’t sure how two bodies that had been as broken as ours could be so strong when joined. “How do you know?”
“I can see it in your eyes. Every time you look at me.” His other hand lifted to my chin, tipping it until our eyes connected. His brow rose slowly, like I was proving his point right that very moment.
“That’s a confident statement.” My voice shook, but my body felt steady. Unwavering.
“It’s the truth.”
My chest was moving so hard, it brushed his with every breath. What was I doing? Where had I found myself? The man holding me had died only to be resurrected six years later. It was too late, but it wasn’t over.
No matter what, Brecken Connolly and I would never be over.
“Twenty-six days,” I said slowly. “That’s all I have to give you. That’s all I have to give. Four weeks. Once he’s back, you know the way it has to be.”
His face broke, but his hold didn’t budge. “It’s not enough.”
My fingers curled into his shirt, looking for some way to hold on to him. “I know.”
His other arm suddenly looped around me and he lifted me off the ground, his grip going around my backside when my legs tied around him. “But a fucking eternity wouldn’t be enough either, so it’ll just have to do.”
He carried me through the sand and up the stairs of the cabin, then he propped me against the wall so he could open the screen door. Something slipped out of my mouth when he flexed his hips into mine.
“Told you it wasn’t a morning issue,” he whispered in my ear, but I could hear the smile in his voice. “Just a Camryn one.”
He made the same motion with his hips, applying a little more friction this time, causing a louder sound to echo from my lungs.
Opening the screen door as silently as he could, he carried me inside.
“You can set me down, you know?” I whispered.
“I know,” he said, his arms tying tighter. Once all of the lights were off, the cabin closed up for the night, he padded down the hall.
“You know where you’re going?”
His head nodded beside mine. “I’ve always known.”
My hands went behind his neck. His skin was warm and familiar. “And where’s that?”
He exhaled against my skin as he closed the bedroom door. “Toward you.”
He set me down once he’d untied my legs from around his waist, and he took a few steps back. He stared at me for a moment then reached for the lamp on the dresser.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Turning on the lights.”
I watched him flip on another. “Why?”
“Because I want to see you. Because I want to watch your face as I move inside you. Because I want to see your skin flush when I make you come.” He flipped on one more light, then all of his attention turned to me. “Because I want to see everything.”
My heart took off as I imagined being intimate with him with every light in the room on. My body wasn’t the same one he’d left. It had carried a burden; it bore the scars of a shattered soul and a broken body. “I don’t want you to see me. Not like that. In the dark, you can imagine the way I was before.”
When I reached for the closest lamp to switch it off, he stopped me. “I don’t want to imagine.” His hand curled around mine, guiding it away from the lamp. “I want the real thing. I want the real you.”
“You’ve seen my body. You know what I look like beneath all of this.” I motioned at the fresh clothes hanging off of me, covering me from my wrists to my ankles to my neck.
“When I look at you, I see beauty and strength, and the one person in the world who gives me a reason to live and a reason to die.” He drew me to him, his face creased in lines of concentration. “That’s what I see when I look at you.”